But sometimes those wander are lost. For many years I was lost. I flitted around. I lived in Sydney and then moved back to Brisbane. Lived in Melbourne and then back to Brisbane. In between these interstate sojourns I would move to New Farm or Woolloongabba and live there and then move back home.
I think I was lost without realising. This was all during my mid to late twenties. About a month before I turned 30 I moved to London for six months. I was running away. I did not like the idea of turning 30. I did not like where I was in my life. I was very very unsatisfied and felt geographical location was the reason.
Of course it wasn't. I was unhappy with myself. I also think I was suffering depression. Not as dark and empty as recent times but just a mild depression that sat like a hole in my stomach. I did not recognise it because I blamed everything else except that.
Now all I want to do is live in the one place. I do want to travel but I want to do it with my husband and definitely kid free.
Now I will wander and get lost but just for the pure joy of it, not because I need to be found.