Saturday, March 19, 2011

Another One Bites The Dust

Guess what?  East Germany?.......................Gone!  Onwards and upwards.  Another battle strategically, avoided in my ongoing quest to win the war.

So this is Step 2.  Or campaign East Germany you might say.  I am working on letting go and giving up East Germany, once again to save France and win this God awful war (sorry God not blaming you really - in fact don't know you but we will leave you for another day and another blog).

My husband and I, this year, will have been married for 10 years.  If you knew, 10 years ago, what was going to be thrown at us and liked betting on long odds you would have made a lot of money.  We have dealt with some major stuff over the years.  Having a disabled son. Selling our house to fund his therapies.  Living with my parents for almost three years.  Financial hardship and so on.

But we are here to talk about East Germany.  East Germany for me is accepting that the person my husband had a child with 17 years ago is toxic and I need to just put up the Berlin Wall and take no prisoners.

I will not go into the nature of this toxicity but suffice to say we have been to hell and back many times.  It has led to many arguments, much distress and guess what? Nothing has changed.

So, my Berlin Wall is up.  It is not coming down. We have lived through this particular battle for over 11 years.  All peace treaties were one sided affairs of our own instigation and then very quickly were revoked due to many many hostile attacks and ambushes.   Sadly, the only victim is my husband 's son.  He is full of hate and venomous jealousy which has been fuelled and maintained by his Mother.

We live in hope that one day, he will find the Brandenburg Gate and want to peacefully cross backwards and forwards through our Berlin Wall.  For him the gate will not only be unlocked but left wide open.

At this point, I would like to once again say what a wonderful and amazing person my husband is.  He has at all times lived his life with integrity, honesty, patience and acceptance.   He has such strength of character and such a strong psyche.  He knows and trusts who he is and believes in himself.  Not just that, he believes in me.  He is my United Nations.  I love him and am grateful that he loves me back.

So, one more step, it might be sidewards but, like tacking in sailing, sometimes you have to change position to gain strength and fill your sails with wind.

Take care, enjoy a lovely weekend with your families.  Appreciate them, for you are so lucky to have them as a consistent presence in your life.

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