A hero is no braver than an ordinary man, but he is brave five minutes longer.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
I think I can justly say I am brave. I have been brave for a long time and my body, my heart and soul are tired. I have written about my reasons for depression and anxiety. They are no secret so I will not harp on about them again. Being home for the month or so was both good and bad. Good that I was not in hospital but bad because I was barely functioning. Just simply going through the motions. You become quite good at wearing a mask when you are fighting depression.
This time I pray to anyone who will listen to please let me and my doctor get it right. I don't want to be here. I want to be home, I want to be with my family but I also want to be functioning and involved not just present.
So, have I been braver for five minutes longer - damn straight I have. I have been braver for far longer than that and I won't given in. Not now, not ever.
No comments:
Post a Comment