Wednesday, September 21, 2011

That Damn Grain of Sand

It isn't the mountains ahead that wear you out, it's the grain of sand in your shoe.

Why is it always the little things get you down and yet we can magnificently rise to the occasion when it is something huge.

I just had a meeting with my psych nurse and she brought up an interesting point.  She asked me what my childhood was like.  I am very lucky, I had a very normal trauma free childhood.  She asked me was I disappointed much during childhood and I could honestly answer no I wasn't.  She believes that whilst this is idyllic it also means you may not have the life skills required to help you when you are older and most likely facing disappointment during your life. So Mum & Dad it is all your fault I am a fuck up now.   (Just jokes of course)

We also talked about setting some very small goals and use the SCRAM technique when setting daily goals.  This means the goals are SPECIFIC, CLEAR, REALISTIC, ACHIEVABLE & MEASURABLE. And then also acknowledging your accomplishment as well.  I know this sounds like common sense to most but when you have fallen so far from the path and your past year has been filled with fear of failure and you are frozen because you are so overwhelmed; it is wonderful to be coached and encouraged to help you reach your potential.  Remember don't set the bar too high and always acknowledge what you do do rather then what you don't.

So now with my husband's help I am going to keep a goal journal and daily set myself small tasks.  I will use the SCRAM technique and I will review this constantly.  I think this will really help me get back on track with some of the more simple, mundane household tasks that have fallen into my poor husband's domain this past year.

I really am determined to get my life back on track.  I don't want to continue to feel this way.  I will work as hard as is needed and I will come through this.

As Tom Petty would sing:

‎"Well I won't back down, no I won't back down You could stand me up against the gates of hell But I won't back down.... Gonna stand my ground, won't be turned around And I'll keep this world from draggin' me down Gonna stand my ground and I won't back down... Well I know what's right, I got just one life In a world that keeps pushin' me around But I'll stand my ground and I won't back down" Tom Petty - "I Won't back Down"


  1. Like the grain of sand analogy, very true - often I feel like I shouldn't worry about things bothering me as they are only small in the scheme of things but it's those things very close to you that whill chaff and then you can't see the bigger picture right. Also interesting about the childhood - so if you have trauma it's bad and if you have a great childhood it's also not great, how do you win?! Good thing to remember for my children though - of course it's my instinct to protect them from everything but useful to remember that difficulty and disappointment can actually be good for them. Also great to write lists, some days I feel I have so much to do but writing lists helps (even if I don't do the things on it!). When the girls were newborns and I'd feel I spent days busy but not sure what I did, I'd even write things like "get out of bed, tick", "give girls cuddles, tick".

  2. Hey Renee so lovely to hear from you. You are right as a parent you just want to protect your children from all forms of hurt and disappointment but is that necessarily the best long term outcome for them. I have become a big convert of writing lists. Lovely to hear from you miss our Toastmasters days. Am seriously considering joining our local club but of course it will never measure up to YAK