Today I had my fourth round of ECT (electro-convulsive therapy). I must confess am feeling a tad perplexed and bewildered. That short term memory has definitely come undone. Is it working? Am I feeling any better? I can't really answer as I feel it is still early days.
I thought you might like a more indepth description of what happens during ECT. Now, remembering for part of this I have a general anaesthetic so some details are murky.
A nurse comes and gets me about 8.30am and you walk around to the wing where you receive the treatment. They put you up on a bed and start attaching electrodes to different pulse points of the body. While the nurses are doing this the anaesthetist is busily finding a vein to put the catheter in. And while all this is happening my psychiatrist is busy swabbing my forehead to attach the electrodes on there. These ones are damp so that you are not burned during the administering of ECT.
Before you know it they are placing an oxygen mask over your face and you are under. Next thing you realise you are in recovery and it is all done and dusted. Bizarre feeling. Because you have been fasting from the previous night you are then given some toast and juice to ensure you are recovering well from the anaesthetic.
I honestly can't say if I feel any different. I don't feel worse. I do feel some confusion which is from the short term memory lapse due to the ECT but nothing dramatic so far. I have at least two more to go, possibly more. Depends on what my doctor thinks. At this stage of the treatment I would really welcome some positive signs of it working.
I just hope and pray this is going to be the answer and give me some much needed respite from my dark oppressive mood. I have a life I want to get back to and I miss my husband and kids more than anything.
I am grateful to everyone who have been thinking of me and hope you are all doing well.